Simple Thoughts

I think this school year flew by quite fast… 2008 was really fast but compared to 2009… its not nearly as fast.

maybe it is due to my busy-ness through church, school, fellowship, internship, projects, etc. it made it seem that I have already returned to school for almost 1 and a half month of school (but it really only feels like 3 weeks)

I wonder if there is really new hope for 2009?

Here I am again… still the same me… everyday I wake up thinking today would be different, something special, unusual would happen… but when the last minutes of the day goes by… I realize that it is the same.

I really wished I could have more hope more faith in God, it seems that whenever I try to get myself to taking a risk, it all totally goes wrong. Whenever I feel God pushing me to do something, it really isn’t the answer or the result I had hoped for… is this what God wanted?

(coincidence? the post I write on Valentine’s Day is actually numbered… 215… close enough to 214 :O)

I hate how the world is so secular now.

Every time I say the name “Jesus Christ” I have this guilty feeling as if I am swearing, its terrible, it shouldn’t be,

Jesus Christ, even writing it makes me feel like I’m saying or doing something bad… its terrible I hate it so much… for those who have heard me mention Jesus within these past 6 months, I keep referring Him to Christ Jesus.

I recall in grade 11 history, my teacher insist that we should not do our historical figure on Jesus Christ because he was simply too popular… too popular? honestly how much stuff do we really know about him? really only the few 30+ days of his 33 years on earth… is that a lot? sure a lot of people know about him but what is it that he is popular about? his miracles? a prophet? God’s Son? I really wonder what is Jesus considered from an Atheists’ point of view…

“being with you isn’t good, it isn’t healthy, you are changing me, the more I’m with you, the more I change, I think I’m changing for the bad… my friends say I’ve changed… I’m not as friendly as I use to be…

I feel like I’m being more like you… the bad side of you. I hate it… I hate how I’m turning to be such a “you” the more closer I am to you, the less naive I am, yet the more meaner I feel myself becoming. stop changing me… I use to be so investigative, now because of you, I’m so different. I wished I could stop this somehow… but it ain’t easy.

I feel so sad.