Archive for October, 2007

Depression

all that’s left is the quietness you left behind, the stillness, sereneness of the surroundings just kill. but the moments you have left remains in me forever as I know, they will always be as lively as they have been.

Winter, especially in North America is frightening as it is beautiful, beautiful as if you are dreaming once you walk out into the openness which is filled with fluffy snow that fall ever so gently, but also frightening because of its quietness, the loneliness, as if you are the only person left in this winter wonderland. perhaps this explains why I hate winter so much, especially during the afternoons when I am home by myself, and could hear nothing except for my own thoughts, while I try to snuggle myself to keep me warm, I cannot help thinking how alone I feel in this world, as if something were to happen, no one would know… than, as the clock strikes 4, the sky already darkens up, making that feeling of loneliness more frightening. I hate cold winters.

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Quite an interesting game… ~

Found a game called: Travian from feverforum, it sounds pretty cool, you get to build your own village
no need to download anything or install anything, easy to sign up

for more info: http://hk.geocities.com/traviancity/

to play(Chinese): http://www.travian.hk/

to play(English): http://www.travian.com

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Fakers

There is a type of stupid people in this world, so stupid that I sometimes want to give them the finger, which is something I hardly do, probably never do, but these people… I won’t be surprised if one day I decide to give it to them.

These types of people are known as the ‘fake’ people or ‘fakers’ in short. When you first meet them, they speak to you as if they are the greatest people in the world, they make you very comfortable, especially around people, correction, people who have power, they would show themselves off.

Just when you think you found someone who you could totally trust, it happens. You go up to them, ask them for help, advice, counselling, or whatever it is, and they turn you down, they say that you are annoying, you should just

they think you don’t know, but you do, and when you do, you want to do something to them, yet you can’t, because they would go all fake on you again, as if you made the mistake, the mistake that they are in fact the nicest people in the world. Then, if you try to explain, they would give their fake astonished looks and their ugly fake smiles and make it seem that you are the one with the problem…

The next time you know you have to face them, and you think, oh wells, I won’t start talking to this person anymore… besides, why would you even talk with them anymore? even if you do talk, it won’t be the same, after all, you DID show them that you aren’t that dumb, so anywayz, you had an argument with that person, could you guys even face each other again? The moment you see that person, you think over the sorts of stuff that you’ve said to each other, when your thoughts come back again, that faker comes in front of you, and guess what? nothing changed! well, guess what? the person not only approached you, but he/she starts talking to you, as if they had some sort of memory loss and the ‘argument’ you had with him/her never really happened, so you say to yourself: maybe i’m just too sensitive. But actually, no, you aren’t sensitive, when the crowds have scattered and you meet him/her in the washroom areas or hallways where you both are alone again, they just ignore you. This situation is enough for someone to go insane!!

People, for goodness sake, you live in a real world, so act real, don’t you realize that by being fake doesn’t get you far in life? in fact, go and get yourselves a real life!

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facebook and wordpress

I found this link: http://wordpress.com/blog/2007/07/18/facebook/
it actually surprises me how a place like wordpress would encourage its writers to going to a place like facebook, (as it is now) WordPress makes me feel like it is a place for serious bloggers, a place for people who write for their living, a scholarly place. Yet, look! it encourages its writers to go on facebook… it just makes me wonder… are they trying to make facebook the place it use to be? or are they trying to get its readers to become more involved on a popular place like facebook?

just sharing my weird thoughts…

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Awakenings vs. … me?

A few days ago, I was thinking over the movie I had watched a few years ago called ‘Awakenings’, it was about a doctor who found a cure (through a drug called  L-Dopa) for a mental institution which held patients with Catatonia, a sickness which caused the patients to be in ’sleeping’ mode.

I found the movie quite sad and touching and full of emotion… all the patients were so lively, and everyone was so happy, it was as if they were raised from the dead, but it became so sad, and an errie feeling lurked when the drug had no more use to help them be ‘awake’ anymore… as the mental institution grew quiet once more.

so, I thought back at my life… and sometimes, I could relate to this… weirdly. Sometimes, if you could catch me in a talking and opened mood, You could and will see the real me, but once that mood is gone, I would remain the quiet Stephanie once more. It is just so weird… perhaps, I was trained like this?

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