Simple Thoughts

As I had realized over these past 3 months of closely examining myself, many people do not really know the real me… hmm… let me count… perhaps, only… shoot, no… who the heck knows the real me? probably… 2 people in this whole world of… what… 8 billion people? What’s wrong with me? why doesn’t anyone know the real me? so darn annoying.

Other people.. hmm.. probably… my acquaintances plus my friends, or… no, I can’t call them friends, they do not know me! but neways, them… those acquaintances, as I shall call them, think they know me, but really, they do not, I have too many masks, this might be a result of me wanting to be an actress before… but whatever, those people do not even realize I am wearing a mask most of the time anyways, so… bleh…

I just want to say, just because I might be shy, innocent, and quiet in of them, this might not be the real me, its only a stupid mask, its a mask people call Stephanie Ng, but, it is not the real Stephanie Ng, sheesh, sometimes I think, one day, someone who looks like me could wear that mask, and everyone would think of that person as the real Stephanie Ng… it… ouch, it really hurts thinking like this, but this is true, in most people’s eyes, there is no significant identity of Stephanie Ng other than being quiet. on a lighter note, this is actually pretty funny, some assume that I am the type to ‘play’ in a relationship, while others think I am dead serious… hmm… 2 dead extremes… haha

See, here’s the problem, when you think like this… you are not my friend, but only my acquaint however, you think you are my friend, but… too bad, you aren’t… you see, my real friend would realize something special about me, my real friend would realize I am actually very talkative, Naive, mature, rebellious, I can joke, I can play (not playing relationships but really play as in ‘wan duk’) etc, (shoot, am I giving away too much of myself? lol)

I cannot say that this is the real me, because I do not have enough real friends or friends for that matter to tell me whether I am like this or not, but there’s a start.

found this site: http://thesartorialist.blogspot.com/

and omg, I found my friend there too! haha caught in Paris! lol I really enjoyed this site because of its fashion advice it gives!! so pretty!

hope you guys would enjoy this site as I did!

A little harsh, but true
Some people will never learn their lessons, when things go wrong, they do not change, or perhaps they just plain do not bother. They are so … one sided… I hate these people! and then, they keep saying how their way is better, even if it failed!

Sometimes, I get this feeling that I am really special, I would like to think of myself as someone who is really important, like, someone would watch my life, waiting, just waiting for that right moment to tell me that in fact, I am someone special, in fact, this this life is not my real life, and the only reason why I am always being mistreated is really because God is testing me, just as the song goes: if you had not experienced the feeling of being oppressed, you would not know how to forgive” (by Hacken Lee’s Yee Do theme song) perhaps this depression is a way to train me, so that when one day, when that ’so’ special thing eventually happens, I would understand, and for those people around me, I would learn to forgive their thoughts and feelings.

Deep inside, to be realistic, I sometimes think of myself as pretty stupid… I mean… I jsut don’t get this, somehow, sometimes my brain just stops, like… literally, it just stops, as if… as if I am blocked from this world, this usually happens in crowded areas, which makes me feel and look so dumb, like some idiotic person, but really, people, I am not like that, you should really see how I act with my parents… the sorts of things I think and imagine, its all different. but I just don’t get why there are certain instances when I am just plain dumb.

I really believe in predestination, not in a out of control way of controlling my life, but… maybe before I was born, maybe somehow I made a deal with God on how I should be, the type of person I would become, now that sounds more like it, but really, if I did plan my life, why did I put all the bad stuff into it? this doesn’t annoy me much, because perhaps, perhaps, I am training for something… I don’t know… BIG in my life, but what really annoys me is that why aren’t the good things happening, there is so much someone could take, there is only so long someone can wait… when is my turn? As I watch movies, tv series, cartoons, anime, books, etc. most of the characters in these mediums usually experience something bad till a certain part of their life, than something happens, and they are all so happily ever after, if that were true, when is my turn? when would that segment come? when would it be my turn to have a happy story?

I am annoyed, I am going to explode, I hate…

• people lecturing me on something I have told them
• people who just cut into people’s conversations as if it is their right and that what they say is the most important
• people who interrupt others when they are talking without saying sorry
• people who do not look at my eyes when are talking to me
• people who require too much eye attention for them
• People who suck up
• people creating politics everywhere including: families, working environments, churches, etc
• people who have no respect for anyone
• People who only love and care only about money, popularity, etc.
• annoying immature guys who likes a girl just because she has a beautiful face or a ‘hot’, ‘perfect’, ‘curved’ or ’sexy’ body, and yet, they cannot care less about her inner self, personality, and whether, they were even meant for each other
• People who have no sense in style and just follow others style in terms of fashions, trend, cars.
• People just getting into majors because they think that the major would help them get a degree, yet they do not actually like or enjoy that certain major
• People who are so fake
• (redundant)  People who say one thing and think something else
• People who have and only have the ability to put down others where they only have the skill put down others so they could look good, because they have no other skills and think they are so great for having this ability
• People who have an ego (but they are not worth having an ego to begin with)
• People who are ignorant
• People who look up to those they call worthy and look down to those ‘under’ them creating stupid hierarchies

決戰二世祖 Battle Against The Rich Man’s Son
(Kuet Jin Yee Sai Joe)

曲 : 雷頌德/側田(On Your Mark) 詞 : 林夕 編/監 : 雷頌德

Composed by Mark Lui and Justin Lo
Lyrics written by Lam Chik

* 其實我怎會輸給這二世祖
Actually how could I lose to the rich man’s spoilt son
(Kei sut ngo jum wooi shue kup jeh yee sai jou)
其實我愛你愛到比他更恐怖
In fact I love you even more terribly than he
(Kei sut ngo ngoi nei ngoi dou bei ta gang hong bou)
能令你high得比天際還更高
I can let you be “high”, higher than the sky
(Nang ling nei “high” dak bei tin chai wan gang gou)
陪著那個肚裡滿草 只有枯燥
With that guy whose stomach is full of grass, he’ll only bore you
(Pooi jeok nah goh tou loei moon chou ji yao foo chou)*

你要 純正愛情
You want pure love
(Nei yiu soon jing ngoi ching)
愛上抱人那個過程
Love the process of hugging someone
(Ngoi seong pou yan na goh goh ching)
你信 人有個牲
You believe that people have personalities
(Nei soon yan yao goh sing)
應該選我最公正
It’s only fair to choose me
(Ying goi shuin ngo joei gong jing)
擦擦眼睛 擦擦眼睛
Scrub your eyes, scrub your eyes
(Chat chat ngan jing chak chak ngan jing)
看我眼睛 會更清醒
Look at my eyes and you’ll look clearer
(Hon ngo ngan jing wooi gang ching sing)
我哪怕窮 還遊世界 帶你看風景
I’m not afraid to be poor, I’ll take you travel all around the world
(Ngo nah pah kung / Wan yao sai gai dai nei hon fong geng)

願跟他比賽
I’m willing to compete with him
(Yuin gun ta bei choi)
別共他戀愛
Don’t court with him
(Bit gong ta luin ngoi)
為著你未來
It’s for your future
(Wai jeok nei mei loi)
你也其實愛才
Actually you admire talent too
(Nei yah kei sut ngoi choi)
就跟他比賽
Well I’ll compete with him
(Jao gun ta luin ngoi)
大敗那痴呆
Beat that idiot throughly
(Dai bai nah chee ngoi)
若是愛天才
If you like talent
(Yok see ngoi tin choi)
請跟 我戀愛
Please date with me
(Ching gun ngo luin ngoi)

要公正比賽
Will compete fairly
(Yiu gong jing bei choi)
全為你未來 更精彩
It’s all for your better future
(Chuin wai nei mei loi / Gang jing choi)

Repeat *

你要 神聖愛情
You want sacred love
(Nei yiu sun seng ngoi ching)
你要愛人對你摯誠
You want your lover to be loyal to you
(Nei yiu ngoi yan doei nei jee sing)
愛我 才有結晶
Only by loving me, the love will blossom
(Ngoi ngo choi yao kit jing)
他怎麼有這保證
How could he give you this promise
(Ta jum moh yao jeh bou jing)
擦擦眼睛 擦擦眼睛
Scrub your eyes, scrub your eyes
(Chak chak ngan jeng chak chak ngan jing)
你會見到他縮影
You will see his miniature
(Nei wooi kin dou ta sook ying)
談情全為顯本領
He’s dating just to show off
(Tam ching chuin wai hin boon ling)
人人能做證
Everyone can be the witnesses
(Yan yan nang joe jing)

願跟他比賽
I’m willing to compete with him
(Yuin gun ta bei choi)
別共他戀愛
Don’t court with him
(Bit gong ta luin ngoi)
為著你未來
It’s for your future
(Wai jeok nei mei loi)
你也 其實愛才
Actually you admire talent too
(Nei yah kei sut ngoi choi)
就跟他比賽
Well I’ll compete with him
(Jao gun ta luin ngoi)
大敗那痴呆
Beat that idiot throughly
(Dai bai nah chee ngoi)
若是愛天才 根本
If you like talent
(Yok see ngoi tin choi / Gun boon)

Ah, let me tell ya

未怕過 這個世界有公義吧
I’m never afraid, there should be fairness in the world
(Mei pah goh / Jeh goh sai gai yao gong yee bah)
大惡霸 我信你會有膽揀他
The ruthless fellow, I believe you’re dare to choose him
(Dai ngok bah / Ngo soon nei wooi yao dum gun ta)
如揀在下 即刻張開你的心花
If you choose me, open your heart of flower now
(Yu gun joi har / Jik kak jeong hoi nei dik sum fah)
會換來桃花
It’ll bring you happiness
(Wooi woon loi tou fah)
能暴升身價
Will increase your value
(Nang bou sing sun gah)

願跟他比賽
I’m willing to compete with him
(Yuin gun ta bei choi)
別共他戀愛
Don’t court with him
(Bit gong ta luin ngoi)
望著你將來
Look at your future
(Mong jeok nei jeong loi)
過去已經不再
The past has past
(Guo hooi yee geng but joi)
讓玩具拋開
Throw away the toys
(Yeong woon goei pao hoi)
再見悲哀 Bid farewell to sadness
(Joi kin bei ngoi)
挑選我 不需再跟他比賽
Choose me, and I don’t need to compete with him again
(Tiu shuin ngo / But bit joi gun ta bei choi)
為造福你後代
It’s for the good of your next generation
(Wai jou fook nei hao doi)
新生再展開
Have a new life
(Sun sung joi jin hoi)

credits: Jessy @ Chinese Music Blog

If they say a picture is worth a thousand words and traveling is worth reading a thousand books, than what could they say about experience?

Experience is something that you… well… have to experience. I was having a conversation with a friend of mine, and we debated on our experiences, of course through this conversation, I had gotten the impression that; he was the kind of person who would put down people, had a family who spoiled him, and probably experience minimal unfair unjust if any. He spoke to me about sacrifice. My first reaction was… you know what is sacrifice? he said indeed. He really believed he does… yet I could only think… right… what is sacrifice? spending money on a friend? sacrificing your time? what is sacrifice? and when does it count as something important? where does the line lie?

in my opinion, an experience is worth watching a thousand movies.

Sof
Your Birthdate: September 18

You are a cohesive force - able to bring many people together for a common cause.
You tend to excel in work situations, but you also facilitate a lot of social gatherings too.
Beyond being a good leader, you are good at inspiring others.
You also keep your powerful emotions in check - you know when to emote and when to repress.

Your strength: Emotional maturity beyond your years

Your weakness: Wearing yourself down with too many responsibilities

Your power color: Crimson red

Your power symbol: Snowflake

Your power month: September

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lol, ofcourse my power month should be September… kind of found that part a bit redundant ;S
Thanks Sof! this is actually pretty accurate so true for my strength!

hey, they didn’t put in the link for this quiz thing…

What Does Your Birth Date Mean? http://www.blogthings.com/whatdoesyourbirthdatemeanquiz/

a few months ago, an acquainted girl, she apparently knows how to read palms, this was what she said about my life/fate:

-I am someone who would easily meet with my future husband, she stated that I would at the most date up to 2-3 times before I get married.

-I pretty know where I am going as my destiny line has been pretty much well formed.

-I concentrate moderately at my work.

-I think too much

-I have a lot of emotions, I am pretty sensitive, if in a case where, say something happens and I have to write an exam, I would not be able to do well or even write the exam.

interesting eh?