Introvert
March 9, 2007
Just now, I received a message from one of my friends, she claimed that we shouldn’t talk so “hak Hei” or polite in English. It soon dawned on me, that that has how I have been since… since forever, I realized that I do not know HOW to be open towards others, and I blame this on those people who have always “hup” or bully me. Sometimes I just don’t understand why people have always bullied me as a child.
I thought as over and thought… is this my fault? or is it their’s? as soon as I try to figure this out… I wonder… what have I done wrong? what is it in me that has cause people to hate me so much? it was the same in all places: whether it was church, school, and even my own family! I find this so outrageous, what have I done? than I start blaming God, I ask God, why are you so unfair? why does it seem like everyone hates me so much? what have I done? I felt so sad, so I began so sob quietly.
When I had finally calmed down, I thought… those cousins… all those friends, I have done nothing to them, I had been such a pal, when they are in need, I would help them, when they cry, I would try to calm them down… but when it is my turn to face life’s crisis, they would all turn their backs on me… that might be understandable… but even times when I do not ask for their help… slowly they would move away from me.
It is not my fault I have become a introvert over the years, I have been hurt too many times… from the time I was 3 till now, I have been hurt too much, too bad… it is so hard to trust anyone cause I am so afraid I would get hurt again. I really try, I try to be close with people… but I cannot, I have been accustomed to not gain a real trust between others.
The only final question I have is… why? why me? why does it have to be me? *sob
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1.
Junior | March 11, 2007 at 4:59 am
hey stephy. sorri to hear about this. I guess the only people that knows why they pick on your would be “those” people. The regular or common answer would be the fact peeople find bullying others make them feel more dominant and power. The hunger to bully people usually to put their stress on to others.
Why you? The psychological explanation to this would probably be… ( do not take offense to the things I am about to say. PlZ. If you feel you will do so. then don;t read it) The way you look and act. People in general usually would pick on people who are silent. why? becuase silent people are easily to pick on. When a person is silent, they aren’t ready to talk back or protect themselve in anyway. This causes the “bully” to attack you somemore and bully you knowing you won’t do anything. The way you look. pretty much is just kids picking on kids they despise.. why they despice them, no real clue why.. never heard of any good facts to actually support any theory to it. maybe the “bully” is bullying the person that they think is smarter then them, prettier the them.. etc.. So in a way. i guess you can look on the bright side that you must have some very good qualities that makes someone what to bully you. ( not saying that is a good thing) so ya de da da. pretty much that can be a explanation to your question.
One thing you should keep in mind stephy is that you are not the only one that is being bully and that when you speak up like what you are doing now. There will always be support from your friends or family. being an introvert isn’t an excuse for someone to bully you and if i remmeber correctly, the majority of this world population is introvert. Probably the one picking on you is an introvert too.
Oh lastly.. building bonds is good stuff..!!! I use to be an introvert, actually I still am. However, i realized talking to people and practicing to be more social is a very good thing.
2.
Junior | March 11, 2007 at 4:59 am
LOL. I think my comment is longer then your actaully post.. LALALALA. Sorri about that..
3.
stephanieng | March 11, 2007 at 6:47 am
awww no problem Junior! Thank you so much for your concerns for me! Thank you so much!! It’s people like you who make me feel so good about myself, and make the world such a better place to be in
thank you so much! *hugs~
4.
negative vs.positive &laq&hellip | March 25, 2007 at 6:10 am
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